The Naked Apple

Repoting from the modern middle class

Posts Tagged ‘std

Hermes and The Hooker

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Getting an STD test after sleeping with a prostitute in the UK was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life.  I had gone out for a quick drink to “unwind” during a 3-day business trip to London.  A couple of pints and a beef sandwich, led to a cockney pub complete with Eastern European girls stripping on an astro-turf stage for pound coins in a beer glass.  From there, bar hopping around So-Ho and finally slipping into China White, a respectable night club by any standard on the ruse that I was meeting some friends inside.

I hit the bar and the euphoria of 6 hours of alcohol laced with a pack of Marlborough Lights shook my brain.  I bought drinks at the crushed zinc top hugging an unnamed young Arab who had neither the need nor the desire to work due to his father’s wealth.  At the time I felt on top of the world; in reality I was merely six JD and cokes away from solitude.

And then I got talking with a girl at the bar, normal stuff – like any conversation drowned out by the anthems of dance.  Regressing back to a 17 year old out on the pull, I confidently told her we should go back to “my place”.  It was only in the taxi that I realized this all was not quite right.

“You need to pay me two hundred pound.”

“You didn’t tell me this in the club?”

“No, no, no.  I tell you.  You say ok.”  The bubble was popped in full view of the cabbie who played the role of spectator to this public humiliation.  I weighed up the situation, I was very drunk and in a cab heading back to a 3 star hotel with a Thai hooker.  It all seemed kind of predictable, as if the night had edged towards this inevitable conclusion from the first pint.
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Written by The Naked Apple

February 20, 2009 at 2:36 pm

Posted in Sex

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