The Naked Apple

Repoting from the modern middle class

Posts Tagged ‘addiction

A New Treatize on Porn

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I do not understand pornography nor my relationship to it. It’s an invisible billion dollar empire that touches every empty American male hand.

I purchased my first spank mag at the age of 14 or 15 from an Asian newsagents in the UK and actually ran home with the cellophane wrapped wonder package. This sense of forbidden fruit to a school boy is something that has stayed with my carnal tastes and would likely be of great interest to Mr. Freud . With the advent of a 56k modem connection for my father’s PC, I migrated to surfing for pictoral titillation ( – I personally contributed 50,000 of your unique hits between 1997 and 1998, any success you achieved in becoming one of the world’s biggest distributors of free skin clips I feel is in no small part due to my teenage lusting). With an anthropologist’s objectivity, it’s possible to track the evolution of my tastes by analysing 140,000 Google searches (I’m estimating a median of 20 a week for 14 years allowing for vacations, periods without Internet access and self imposed on-line celibacy).

Predictably the search terms have evolved from women a 15 year old school boy would feel comfortable with to generally accepted American standards of erotica with a few brief escapades into the more creative aspects of the human arousal.

Still, I find on-line porn disappointing. Magazines have a nostalgic hold on my libido and probably represented a high point in the evolution of solo sexuality in terms of ease of access. The Internet’s anytime, anyplace (within the commonly accepted standards of social decency) is just too much. On-line arousal is ultimately an empty experience and I disagree with any psychologist who writes otherwise. The Big Mac of the the spank wank, the fast food fix for your sexual appetite. Sometimes minutes, sometimes hours drift by until the happy ending trance is broken with “how did I end up sat in front of a PC – used by my wife just hours ago to write her resume – with my pants around my ankles observing a middle class couple somewhere in the US copulate on the kitchen table (complete with checked table cloth)”. It is this “what the fuck factor” that reminds me most of “why did I just eat that”.
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Written by The Naked Apple

February 24, 2009 at 8:38 am

Posted in Sex

Tagged with , , ,